🐤 Headed for the hoosegow

🏦 Markets: Wall Street is closed today for Good Friday, which means Thursday was the end of the week and the final trading day of the first quarter of 2024.

March ended with a muted rally, giving the S&P 500 a new all-time high and its best first quarter since 2019.

For the fifth straight month, all three major indexes finished higher than the previous month.

🍴 Gaza crisis: As the Israel-Hamas war rages on, there’s one group that the United Nations’ International Court of Justice says has been disproportionately harmed. Food and other forms of humanitarian aid to Gaza have been held up in recent months, leading to increased concerns about starvation in the region. In a unanimous decision by the U.N. judges this week, Israel was ordered to allow shipments of food to continue into Gaza where the court determined that “famine is setting in.”

🤝 Summit plans: Japanese leaders have been striving for decades to secure the return of citizens believed to have been seized by North Korean forces as far back as the 1970s. This week, Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida offered his latest assessment of the situation by calling yet again for a summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. He said he is “committed to realizing this for Japan,” hoping to discuss the abduction as well as North Korea’s military threats. It’s been two decades since the last such summit.

💤 Pillow talk: Mike Lindell, the founder of MyPillow and an outspoken skeptic of the 2020 presidential election results, was recently hit with an eviction order related to a warehouse in Minnesota. He hit back against speculation that financial problems or backlash against his stance on hot-button political issues was at the root of the development. Instead, he chalked it up to a mutual agreement with the warehouse owner, from whom he subleased the space and had not used it in about a year.

😮 Swift justice: Shortly after pop star Taylor Swift’s tour of Australia ended in Sydney last month, paparazzi showed up in force to snap some pictures — and one photographer said he ended up on the wrong end of her father’s fist. Ben McDonald alleged that a bodyguard shoved an umbrella in his face before Scott Swift punched him during an altercation at the Neutral Bay Wharf on Feb. 27. The singer’s reps say the paparazzi was behaving aggressively, though, and police declined to file criminal charges against her dad.

In just a few short years, Sam Bankman-Fried went from Big Tech elite to a cautionary tale about cryptocurrency scams. In total, he defrauded investors out of a combined $8 billion.

This week, the disgraced former head of crypto exchange FTX was sentenced to a total of 25 years behind bars on convictions including fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering.

That’s a hefty sentence … but is it more, less, or pretty much on par for such a significant criminal investment scheme? Let’s take a look at a few of the most infamous cases from the past few decades for some context.

• Bernie Madoff: The man behind the most audacious Ponzi scheme in American history received a staggering 150-year sentence in 2009. In the end, the criminal financier ultimately served a dozen years before dying in prison. But Bankman-Fried’s attorneys dismissed any comparison between the two cases, asserting that Madoff’s clients thought they “were investing in a conservative vehicle” while crypto investors were willing to take bigger risks.
• Michael Milkin: On the other end of the sentencing spectrum was the so-called “junk bond king,” who was convicted of crimes including securities fraud and tax fraud before receiving a 10-year sentence in 1990. In the end, he was released after just two years and went on to establish a successful charitable organization. Bankman-Fried’s lawyers also cited this case, stating that he would likewise “dedicate his post-prison life to charitable works.”
• Elizabeth Holmes: The founder of Theranos received an 11-year sentence in 2022 for charges related to defrauding investors in a startup company she claimed would revolutionize blood tests. According to Bankman-Fried’s legal team, the cases were similar because they both were in their 30s when they were sentenced, but claimed that Holmes was “far more culpable” because she “put patients at risk.”

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Cramped seats, loud passengers, and limited amenities. That’s the price airline passengers have to pay to get the cheapest seats on a jet, right?

Some TikTok influencers insist there’s no substitute for upgrading to business class, but a new wave of creators are pushing back against that narrative and paying respect to air travel’s unsung hero.

It’s not really that bad

That’s the main takeaway from a flood of recent posts from travelers who saved a bunch of cash by opting for coach or economy class tickets instead of springing for an upgrade.

A lifestyle-focused TikToker with the handle Hybee offered this advice: “Normalize flying in economy.”

Of course, as many of you already know, there’s nothing abnormal about buying economy class tickets. In fact, there are far more coach seats on a plane than there are in business class. But many influencers who thrive on presenting a particular image to their audiences wouldn’t dare be caught amongst the common folks.

Hybee bucked that trend during a recent 15-hour flight and provided a fairly complimentary review.

“Not luxury but still yummy,” she said of her beef-and-veggie meal. The restroom was “cramped, but it does the job,” she added, and determined that the cheap seats are “fine.”

A means to an end

Unless you're flush with expendable income and planning a very long trip, there’s really not much justification for spending so much more for tickets that will get you to the same destination.

Ordinary travelers already know this, and some TikTokers are getting the message. Travel industry entrepreneur Jessica Dante said such content is far more relatable, explaining: “The vast majority of flyers will take economy and they still want to see videos that review airline experiences, show how people can get rest on long-haul economy flights.”

We’ve discussed the downward trend in the number of friends the average person has. And while there are some concerns to consider regarding this cultural shift, it’s possible for an almost opposite problem to cause some trouble.

It’s not that some people have too many friends, per se; it’s more that they feel stuck with friends who are no longer enriching their lives.

What can you do?

Perhaps you’re thinking of a person right now who has been in your social group for a while but has been sort of grating on your nerves for a while.

If that individual is truly toxic, it might be best to cut him or her out of your life completely. But if there’s just some relatively mild annoyance involved, there are some less severe ways to handle the issue that will result in fewer hurt feelings and leave open the possibility of rekindling the friendship down the line.

The strategy has become known as the “friendship shuffle” and involves a few relatively simple steps, says clinical psychologist Miriam Kirmayer, who stressed the “difference between a full withdrawal and a downgrading of the connection.

In the latter scenario, you won’t sever ties with your friend but would reduce your exposure to that individual. Here’s what she suggests:

• Start with honesty: Be realistic about whether there are unresolvable issues at hand or if there’s a reason to maintain some sort of connection.
• Balance the scales: In many cases, friendships are one-sided. If you’re giving more than you receive, consider scaling back your investment.
• Adjust your schedule: Whether you desire more time for new friends, family, work, or yourself, remember that it’s OK to prioritize your own needs.

In the long run, Kirmayer says taking these steps might end up bringing you closer to your friend.